Desensitized:Have you heard the Linkin Park song "Numb"?

As I was walking in a night-filled lane in the residential area of Bangalore yesterday, I saw a black Skoda parked almost in the middle of the road, its owner/driver nowhere to be seen. I should have been outraged, indignant or atleast irritated. Instead, I expertly shimmied along the side of the car, avoiding traffic, and moved on. A while later, I came accross a T-intersection where the lane connected to a main road. I witnessed a Zen almost collide with a Swift, with nothing but a disapproving scowl on my face. Only after I reached home did I wonder; should I have reacted in a better way? Am I, and most of the residents in this city, jaded?

The last left turn before I reach home. It is 9:30PM. What I see: A gas station right ahead, with a billboard on top advertising hair care products(Life can't wait, they say). The sloping double road slightly winding right, busy with vehicles with bright lights. The bluish-black starry sky above- somehow, the moon is never seen in this part. The grey stone compound of a school runs along the right side of the ongoing main road. The pink (yessir, pink!) cement compound of an apartment complex runs along the left before disappearing into a side lane. The darkness that spills over from the side lane clashes visibly with the bright luminescence of the main road. And, to complete the picture, a large, shady Gulmohar tree towering over a large part of the right side of the main road. The light from the street lamps doesn't reach under the shadow of the tree.

This picture is etched in my mind with the caption:" My beloved Bangalore". Right from childhood. Of course, the background has changed over the years. A playground replaced the gas station in earlier years, and the playground was always host to grazing cows, not playing children. There were fewer vehicles on the road some years ago. And, oh, the drivers were not in such a tearing hurry to get to their destinations, or so it seems to me. Some things have changed about the picture but the essentials remain the same. Same winding main road, same starry night.

They say you haevn't seen the "real" city until you've lived in its seedy underbelly. I have never met Bangalore's seedy underbelly, leave alone staying in it. I don't really know much about my home. I suppose thats shameful, but I don't feel any shame.

Never mind the idea of fast-changing, modern, cosmopolitan, upbeat Bangalore taking over the world. Never mind the dark forebodings of Bangalore going to waste taking in more people and cars than it can hold. Never mind the lamemtation that the Bangalorean culture is going belly-up. My Bangalore is that picture(sepia-toned, no less) etched in my mind.